Zero

I had my beta hcg test done yesterday and when I called for the results today she said that my serum level was at ZERO. Zero.
I am not pregnant.
I am 21 dpo. Still no AF in sight.
I have a dr appointment tomorrow because I am still throwing up on a daily basis, have massive migraines, cramping and I cant sleep. I have never felt so sick in my life.
I had my first TTC blowup today. I unleashed the frustration Ive been feeling but hiding.
My mom said to me today "Well now you know how your cousin Ali feels" Ali is 22 weeks pregnant. I responded with "No mom. I DON'T know what she feels like. She's been sick because she's pregnant. Hers is justified. She is miserable but at the end of it she gets to bring a child into this world. I'm sick because something is wrong with me. It would be really nice if I was getting sick because I was pregnant. Then I might not feel like Im dying." She said "Well, its not like you're trying so I don't know why you re so upset." I wanted to say "Actually mom, we are. Thanks" I asked her what would be so wrong about wanting/having a baby.
Then I proceeded to get lectured by her about how its irresponsible of us to try to get pregnant while we live in a 1400 sq ft condo. Seriously? We have 2 bedrooms. We have plenty of room. Try again. Then she says its irresponsible because of my Trigeminal Neuralgia. Yes, its going to be hard to deal with being pregnant while I have TN. I know that I cant take the meds when I'm pregnant. I can handle it. A lot of women with TN have babies. Do I not have the right to have a child just because I have this illness? She has officially made it so that when I do tell her (finally) that I am pregnant I'm going to be scared to death of another lecture.
She told me that I had to be exaggerating. Yes...lets ask my husband who sits in the bathroom rubbing my back as I throw up for hours. How many times he's commented that Ive lost the color in my face. She told me I was being dramatic. I cried, and hung up the phone.
Thank god for my mother in law. She is the most wonderful second mother I could ever ask for. She has been so supportive and sympathetic throughout being sick. She of course was hoping that I was pregnant. She was disappointed when I told her I wasn't. She keeps calling me asking me if I have this symptom or that. Not overbearing at all- just trying to help. She offered to come take care of me because Wes has a dinner meeting tonight. She's offered to pick up meds for me and to come keep me company. She is the caring nurturing mother I wish I had..of course I love my mom, but Robyn...she's the next best thing I could ever ask for. I just wish that the women who gave birth to me would be a little more sympathetic.
So, pity party table for one please...I am depressed.