I hate phantom symptoms....continued

Seriously. I have to wonder....If I didn't know what early pregnancy symptoms were...would I still be having them?
Lets discuss.
I am currently 5dpo. SO... Unless I am hosting an alien baby, and implantation occurred the day I ovulated (yes, I know this isn't possible, that's why its an alien baby) then I should not have all the symptoms that I do.
I feel like Ive been sucking on pennies. What is that nasty metallic taste and why do I have it in my mouth?? I'm wondering what is going on.
I have massive twisting and pulling feelings going on in my lower abdomen.
I am dizzy and lightheaded as all hell.

So, again...would I notice any of this if I wasn't in the 2ww?
I doubt it.