The great cookie disaster!

So at work everyone makes things for everyone else, and I decided this year I would make cookies. How difficult could it possibly be right?!?!

So I go to the store, I get the cookies, I get the icing, and the bags to put them in. Im feelin good.

I get home, and I start making them. This is going smoothly. Cut out the cookies,put them on the sheet, bake for 12 minutes and take them out and decorate them.

Or not.

The icing can exploded in my hand as I tried to start the flow. Had to clean the RED icing off the fridge, the counter, the floor, my cat....

While trying to clean all of that up before it stains, I burned a batch of cookies.

Heather. Baking. Fail.

I take the icing can back to Publix and exchange it for another. I come back home and try again.

This is what they look like fresh out of the oven!

I start to get excited because I just know that even though Ive never done this before, Im instantly going to become a lean mean cookie decorating machine and theyre going to look awesome!!

Or not:

I started to cry because I suck at this. I am not betty crocker. My husband is the only cook in my house for Pete's sake.

So by now, a can has exploded, I have burned a batch and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. What on earth made me think I could do this?!?!

So by now its getting late, and I have one full batch of 12 done. I need 44 done. I look at the clock:

And the real tears come. I plop my ass down on the kitchen floor, with the red icing covered special needs cat in my lap, and cry.

Then I sob.

Because I have failed. What kind of wife am I that I cant even make cookies???? My great grandmother would roll over in her grave if she saw me!

My husband came in and gave me a bit of a pep talk. To which I glared at him and screamed that Im a failure (Serious pity party going on here) and he tries to offer solutions to help. But I dont want his help! I want to do this by myself!!

So i pick myself up and through tears, and stains of red, green and white holiday cheer throughout the kitchen, I finished my cookies.

Ta Da:

I am never ever doing this again.